New Years Ramblings/Catch Up

Excuse the planned absence. I know I had only just started getting the blog going again, but I took a conscious step away from my writing projects when I went to America for Thanksgiving, and then Christmas took over and now it's mid-Juanuary, and how the hell did that happen? Distractions are now minimal, so the writing can resume.

Speaking of my trip to California for Thanksgiving, it was wonderful. 10 days seemed to stretch into what felt like weeks and I soaked up my adorable niece and nephew, memorized their curls and porcelain cheeks to carry with me until I see them again. I filled up on my mom and dad, as much as one can in limited time until their trip here in September (yay!) And I shared laughs with my best friend and siblings to keep me going. I don't get to see them as much as I want to, so I try to make sure that the time I am with them is a nice combination of memory making activities (dress shopping with my mom and sister, a breathtaking hike with my brother, a trip to Magic Mountain with he and my dad) as well as lazy days playing games, eating mom's cooking and just talking.

It might sound odd, but I look at time with my family as "refueling time." I fill up on them as much as I can and take it with me back to England. Beyond that, I see myself as two people: England Aindrea and America Aindrea. I am much the same person, although in America I'm a little younger, a little more carefree - and I think that's a result of the people that surround me there; my tribe. So not only do I fill up on my family, I fill up on America Aindrea, and try to bring her back to balance out England Aindrea - a little more stressed and frazzled but very happy, working hard to become the best version of myself, and getting closer than ever before.

2015 was a great year. So many wonderful things happened for me/us. We got to start the year with my family in California before returning to England. A few months later we bought and moved into our first real home, which has proven to be a lot of work but such a joy. We also traveled to Paris and had some really good experiences. And for me, it was amazing to end the year in California for Thanksgiving - something I've wanted to do since I moved away (Thanksgiving should be a thing everywhere!)
But 2016 should be something to remember too. I'm continuing on my fitness journey which started in May, thanks to my husband encouraging me to join him in his workouts. In November, this intensified as I consulted a nutritionist and I feel fantastic. I'm over 30lbs down and counting. I'm still working on this, as well focusing on my writing and creative pursuits.

This year, I intend to surround myself with music and positivity, coffee and love, personal growth and achievement. 

In March my brother is coming to visit and we'll be traveling to Ireland for a few days together, something we are both very excited to do for our first time together. In August, Mick and I are traveling to the West Country for our 5th anniversary to stay in a cabin on a lake. The next week my parents arrive for a long overdue visit. And in January, my sister and her family should hopefully come for a visit too. I can't wait to open our home to my family and share time and make more memories with them, show them this beautiful country and the life we are making here.

Here's to a productive and satisfying, memorable year for everyone. xo

A Revival

I haven't been here since August. That's a very long time, and life has shown us several big changes since then.
I think part of me was resigned to the fact that I would give up this blog. Life was busy (as it always is) and I didn't have the time or inspiration to continue to make this space a beautiful one. But I must make a confession - I have been a downright nasty person to be around as of late. My poor, dear, sweet husband has caught the brunt of it and most of the time I didn't even realise how horrible I was being until I saw the hurt in his eyes after an argument settled, or until I heard the anger in his voice.
The only thing I know is that when I am stressed and frazzled, I become un-fun and snappy. I become a lot like a teenager who doesn't like to hear any criticism, but especially the word "no."
I need a therapy, of sorts, to keep myself happy. Expressing goes a long way. I remember back in high school, I used to dump my stresses during my least favourite (and weakest) subject- math. It would have done me a lot more good, academically, to sit and pay attention, but it did more for my state of mind to get out some notebook paper and just write. I wrote poems, short stories, even took a few cracks at novels. Nothing ever came of it and sadly, I've lost most of those poems and stories, but it felt good. Another release I discovered around the same time was photography. I found that, after a teenage argument with my mother, a trip to the desert with my little digital camera did me a lot of good. A few years later, I took a photography course at the community college and invested in a good little starter digital SLR. I would lose myself behind the lense, become engrossed in finding the perfect shutter and f-stop combination, and find delight in tweaking the focus just right. Whatever worries plagued my mind could be easily forgotten. In a world where I so often feel like I have no control, getting behind the viewfinder and manipulating the settings of a camera, taking a world that, to me, in that moment, feels ugly, and changing it into something beautiful with this little machine makes me feel ok and reminds me that there is always beauty to be find.

And so, I resolve to write here regularly again, and to take more pictures. I got my camera out a few weeks ago and it sits on the piano (no, we don't play [though Mick can dabble], but it sure is a great place to set all our crap).

So, what has happened since August? Sheesh. A lot. Let me break it down by month for you.

September:
We celebrated our one year anniversary in London. Mick's mom and dad bought us tickets to see "We Will Rock You," a West End musical based on the music of Queen. Oh, did we love it. I quickly bought all of Queen's greatest hits that I was missing. A few days later I started a new job for a recruitment company that specialises in accountancy and fiance. I do a lot of administrative type work, and it's a really great place to work. The people are great and I'm always kept on my toes. A few days later Mick caught up with me by turning 26. Hah.

November:
I had a nasty cold that stopped me dead in my tracks. Mom sent me some Thanksgiving decorations to get me out of an autumn/germy funk. We celebrated a big of a Celtic Thanksgiving, plus a South African. The food was good and I enjoyed being in the kitchen all day.

December:
The countdown to my biggest wish was dwindling down - on December 15th we hopped on a plane and got to visit home for the first time since I moved here. We spent two weeks with my family, time split between Arizona and Southern California. I caught up with my parents and siblings, loved up on my niece and nephew, and shared good laughs with good friends whom I've missed loads. The time went too fast, and with a confusing mixture of sadness and joy, we came back to England.

February:
Another move... Mick's dad kindly asked us if we'd like to rent his house since he is remarrying and moving in with his lucky lady. We were ecstatic for the opportunity to live in the beautiful village in a lovely house with a lot more space and room to grow.

March:
I passed my driving test the first time (quite an accomplishment in England, the driving tests are brutal here!) and got a new car, a lovely little Skoda which may or may not take a lot of work...

That pretty much brings you up to date. There have been other things in between, which I'll share in photos.

Continuing developing my cooking skills

Spending as much time as possible with this guy

A fair amount of snow this winter (that's our new house from the garden!)

And a lot of ice...

And just enough down-time to keep me going

I'll be back soon, I promise. I've missed this place.

xo

Bringing Thanksgiving to the Redcoats

What a great, full weekend we had here- visiting friends, attending parties, and for me, lots of cooking! Saturday night I began my cooking for our little belated Thanksgiving which we would hold on Sunday. It's hard to do Thanksgiving on Thursday here, because nobody has time off, obviously, since it isn't celebrated here. But that wasn't going to stop me- we pushed it to Sunday.
I did my two casseroles (sweet potato as well as twice baked potato), put them in the fridge to bake the following day, and left the turkey out to defrost.
When we woke up Sunday morning, hubby and I walked to the store for some last minute ingredients and came back to the house so I could get started on the pumpkin pie. I had ordered pie filling from amazon (not available here!) and got my store-bought crust out of the refrigerator to place in the pie dish. It was square instead of round, so I had to knead it and roll it out to make it fit the pie dish. Took care of it, placed it in the dish- looking good! Pop it in the oven to flash bake. Cool. I decided to check on it after a minute or two only to discover that the crust was slipping down the edges and settling in a pathetic puddle at the bottom of the dish. I freaked out, shouted for Mick, and got all teary. I'm not sure that it was really the crust that got me so upset. More likely it was the fact that I didn't get to have Thanksgiving with my family, didn't want to ruin the pie because it's my favourite part of Thanksgiving, and it was just a hectic morning. Back we went to the store to get more pasty ( 4!) and another pie dish, because the one at the house was shaped weird (straight edges instead of angles), which I thought added to the problem. We rushed home and I started over. It started to do the same thing, but only on one little edge of the crust, so I pulled it out of the oven and patched up the spot with extra pastry (which had been frozen and had to be thawed! Ugh!). Back in the oven to finishing flash bake and out in a few minutes. It looked pretty compromised, but it was holding together. In went the pumpkin mixture to finish baking. It all turned out fine, and tasted just like it should!
This was the only mishap of the day, apart from the store-bought apple pie that didn't want to bake. But that was okay, because we just did our dessert in two stages. Most of my Brits had never had pumpkin pie before, and they all seemed to like it. Even Mick, who had been more skeptical than the rest, said he really enjoyed it. And he is one picky man!
So thanks to my wonderful husband, his mom and step-dad, my sister in law and her boyfriend, I was able to have a Thanksgiving. And they helped make it special.
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend with your families and friends!

Centerpiece

My mom's side of the family always had gherkins and olives out on Thanksgiving. It wouldn't have felt legit without them!

My pie didn't look all that great, but it tasted perfect :)

I think I did Mama proud!

Pretty table

I know this is an awkward picture, but I swear- my husband does know what a camera is. He just hates them.

The turkey!

For Mom

My mother started a tradition with my sister, her oldest child. When each of us graduated with our bachelor's degree, she made us a quilt. I chose pink and green and toile. And with love and patience, she stitched a beautiful masterpiece.

The other day my mom asked me, “how could you move like that?” She didn’t mean it in any harsh way. She and I are very different people, and she just meant she personally couldn’t do the massive thing I have done- quitting my job, leaving everything I know, and starting over in another country. I always knew that it would be hard for my mom when I left.
But it made me think- how could I, the little girl who used to have a panic attack every day before school and couldn’t spend the night at a friends house without wanting to go home in the middle of the night, become this woman who did what I did.

And then I got this quote, and I think it answers both my mother’s and my own question.

"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."  ~Marion C. Garretty

And it’s true. I’ve always had anxiety problems- most of the time it’s underlying, but other times it’ll flare up and can be pretty debilitating. When I was a kid, I wanted to quit school because I hated it so much, and I had a literal phobia of going to school until I was about twelve, as well as separation anxiety. But my mom and dad pushed me, because education and socialization is very important and they didn’t let me drop out and get home-schooled. I begged. I threw fits. But because my mom and dad loved me enough to not give in (and to go through the panicked battle with me day after day after day after day) and do what was best for me, I was able to finish elementary school. I was able to finish middle school, high school, earn an associates degree and graduate with honors with a Bachelor’s degree.

And then, when Mick came back in my life two years ago, I knew I would have to make a decision at some point. It was difficult for me, because I knew that for he and I to be together, a lot of things in my life were going to change. I worried what my parents would think, what my brother and sister would say. But I found the answer within myself. I found the strength to do what was best for me, because I’d seen my mother do it for me when I was a little girl. I saw her say no to the easy way, and do it the right way.

So, to answer my mom’s question- I was able to move away because I did what she did- I knew what was best for me, and even though I knew it would be hard, I did it anyway. She loved me and did the impossible, so that I could, too. 

Although a Mother's love isn't a love I understand just yet, I do know some about it, because I've been on the receiving end. I've also watched my sister grow with motherhood; I've seen how she looks at my niece and listened to her talk about just how much that gorgeous little girl means to her. So while I don't yet have my own children and can't completely grasp what a mother feels, I have an inkling, and I am thankful to be loved in such a way by such a remarkable woman, and for the opportunity to love her back with a daughter's love.

A Morning Out & Exciting News!

It is officially cold in England, if you want my humble desert-rat opinion! Where I spent the majority of my life (Yuma, Arizona) there are very few days in the year, even in winter, when it stays below maybe 60F. But this is England. The evenings have steadily been in the high 40sF for the past few nights, which isn't all that cold. Except for when it's windy and you have thinned out blood from living in serious heat for 14 and a half years! I won't lie, I'm enjoying it, but my hands are really cold as I type this.

Mick and I went to a town called Worthing this morning on the train. It's about 30 minutes from Bognor. We had to go here because Mick took his written driving test today. He was a bit nervous about it (who likes tests, really?) I assured him he'd do fine, and I think he knew that, too. But still. We're a worry-wart couple. I wasn't allowed into the office where the test took place, so I sat in the stairwell to wait for him, perched on a very hard step. After about 10 minutes, my bum started to feel a bit worse for the wear so I searched google maps on my phone for somewhere to get a hot drink and sit on a comfy couch. Maps told me there was a place just around the corner, maybe 50 yards from where I was sitting. I sent Mick a text (he wouldn't get it until after the test, because he'd had to turn off his phone and store it in a locker before he was able to sit the exam) telling him where I was.

I rounded the corner and crossed the street and found a very cute little coffee shop called Fancy Coffee. I immediately liked the place as I reached for the doorknob. An Italian looking man smiled at me from behind the counter and offered me a menu. I accepted the menu and decided that a hot chocolate sounded absolutely fabulous. I chose the comfy red leather couch in front of the window and watched people walk past the shop while I waited for my drink. I noticed a little old lady walk past with some very metallic purple eyeshadow. I had to smile.
The man brought my hot chocolate. It was almost too pretty to drink !

...almost. 

After only a few minutes, Mick called to find out where I was. He crossed the street to join me. He passed! I'm sure a lot of you are thinking "what's the big deal, the guy's 25 and driving tests are easy." Yes, they are... in America. In England, driving is actually a really difficult process to go through. Not to mention expensive. This is the first time he's ever taken the written test, but that's because he never really needed to before, with friends and public transportation. He did really well and showed me the sheet with his scores on it. Now he just needs to book the actual driving test, which I'm sure he'll also smoke! He celebrated with some caramel shortbread.

How great is that funky cutlery?!

We enjoyed our treats and went out to brave the cold so we could walk back to the train station. It's too bad we don't really ever have any reason to go to Worthing. I really liked Fancy Coffee and would love to make it a regular haunt of mine.

Fancy Coffee.

On another note, our family has some very exciting news... my sister and her horse Big Tyme just competed in the Pan American dressage games in Guadalajara Mexico. It was a huge deal, a massive honor to even make the USA team. This weekend, my parents, brother and his wife, and my brother in law all made the trip to Mexico to watch my sister ride. Mick and I really wanted to go, but understandably, it was just a bit too far for us. As it turns out, the USA Dressage team won the Gold Medal! My sister also won 3rd place for individual medals. I don't think the competition is quite over yet, but I'm so very proud of you, big sister! It must be such a reward for you to work at something so hard for most of your life and then to get such an amazing reward. I've watched you work for this since I was just a little girl, and I couldn't be happier for you. You truly are an inspiration! I wish we could have been there, but I can't wait for you to get home so we can talk on Skype and you can tell me all about it!
Read about dressage here (most people don't know what the heck it is!)
And read about the Pan American USA team (and my big sister!) here.


I think it's time to take a nice hot shower to warm me up!

Things I Miss...

Before I left America I made a list about the things I would miss about living in the Southwest. While some of these things have stayed the same, a lot of it has changed. I don't think you know how you're really going to feel about something before it happens, no matter how much preparation time you may have. I had time to think about this and prepare for it ( a little bit of time). I thought a lot about how hard it would be, yet how exciting. I tried to anticipate the things that would be difficult for me so that when the events occurred, I would be able to sit back and think "hey, it's okay, you knew this was coming." And for the most part, I have been able to do this without too much difficulty. However, there have been some things that I really miss that sort of surprised me.

-Commercialization. As silly as that sounds, it's true. I really miss how much we hyped everything up in America. Halloween, for instance. I loved how ABC family played family Halloween movies all through October, and how lots of people decorated with luminaries (I think that's what they're called?), scarecrows, pumpkins, witches, and all that stuff. It's just not that big of a deal here. They do have candy and costumes and a few decorative items in super markets and stuff like that, but it's just not the same.

-Being able to drive. Now, that's not a cultural difference. It's just that Mick is still working on getting his driver's license, and I can't afford to drive here because insurance is really ridiculously disgustingly expensive. Once I get a job I will take some lessons just so I can get used to driving on the other side of the road, and the other side of the car, and with the shifter on my left side. And round-abouts and narrow roads. All of that. But for the time being, if we can't get somewhere without walking, taking the bus, or getting a lift, we just don't do it. It definitely limits our activities, so I'm looking forward to Mick being done with all his lessons and tests and stuff.

-Family. I knew this one was going to be the hardest. Apart from the day to day stuff that I miss (having lunch with mom, catching a movie with dad, going to Stone Brewery with my brother and his wife, going shopping with my sister, or playing boardgames with my brother in law and niece) there are also the big things. Being so far away meant that the only family that could make it to my wedding were my parents. My sister qualified for a huge riding competition in Mexico this month and because we're so far away, Mick and I won't be able to make it and the rest of the family is going. That's been a bummer- I'm really proud of my sister and wish so much that I could be there to root for her. This family stuff has been the hardest thing. Most days it's totally fine, I talk to my mom on skype a few times a week and we facebook chat often, I talk to my dad once a week and to my brother and sister when I can. But there have been those moments that hit me like a train and I realize- "oh wow. this is permanent." And I'm left with this really scared and sad feeling. But it always goes away.

-Having a job. Now, of course everybody wishes they could just get money and not have a job. But I do miss working. I miss getting up and having somewhere to be, getting a paycheck and interacting with colleagues. Some days I even miss my students. But I'm hoping my visa will go through soon and then I'll be able to work and get going there.

-Yuma. Now, it's not so much Yuma itself that I miss. I just miss certain things about it. The sunsets, my parents' house. Kneaders and Buffalo Wild Wings. Going to visit Outback where I worked for so long. Target! Oh man, I miss Target so much! And Barnes & Nobles, too! Juliana's Cafe. How American Starbucks do Pumpkin Spice lattes. I've checked at one Starbucks around here and there was no Pumpkin Spice Latte :( I know these things aren't all unique to Yuma, but it all made up the whole. Oh and sushi! As far as I can tell sushi isn't that big of a deal here and I miss it so much!

-Friends. This one hasn't been quite as hard as family, but it's still rough. I do get lonely here, but I know once I get a job I'll make some friends, though they'll never replace the ones back home. Like Tabatha, Brittany, Celeste. The ones who've been through it all with me. I hope they can all come visit me soon. Because I miss them loads.


And as far as the picture goes... that's what they say, isn't it? "Home is where the heart is." I can't predict the future, but I have a feeling that Arizona/California will always be home. And because such a big part of my life was there, and so many people I love are still there, part of my heart will always be there. But England is starting to feel a bit like home, as well. And as more things fill my heart here- friends, a house, children- it will become home, too. And at the end of the day, that's two homes. Two sets of friends, two families, two places I love. How much luckier can a girl get?

The Philosophies of Mom and Dr. Seuss

Today has been kind of rough. I'm in Kent for the weekend with Mick's mom for wedding planning while he's having a boy's weekend back home with his buddy Gus. I'm not so silly as to miss him already, but being without him makes me suddenly realize how very far away from home I am. Since he was able to spend six months with me in America, it felt like, with him, I had a bit of America here with me. Familiarity, someone who knows my family and has grown to care for them. Now I feel very much on my own. It made me feel rather homesick. It's a weird psychological thing. Bottom line is, I'm fine, just a little low.
This evening after dinner I came up to the room I'm staying in at the house in Kent and called my mom. I told her of my worries with money (I'm not working but I still have expenses. I have savings, but those don't last forever!) and just that I was feeling bummed out. It was nice to hear her talk about normal, every day stuff that she's been doing around the house. It made me feel like I was there. She told me she found our old copy of Oh, the Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss. She listened to my worries and said "I'm going to read this to you."
"You're going to read me a story?" I chuckled through tears.
"Yes, it's story time."

And it was amazing how much that book corresponds with what I'm going through. Here is the story, complete with my wonderfully silly mother's commentary in red....

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
by the incomparable Dr. Seuss

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go. (You decided to go to England!)
You’ll look up and down streets. Look’em over with care. About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.” With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet, you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.

And you may not find any you’ll want to go down. In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town. It’s opener there in the wide open air. (Yeah, you're out there in the wide open!)

Out there things can happen and frequently do to people as brainy and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew. Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.

Oh! The Places You’ll Go!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed. You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead. Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best. Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t.
Because, sometimes, you won’t.

I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.
You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch with an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you’ll be in a Slump.

And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. (He has such poor grammar!) A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused that you’ll start in to race down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting.
No! That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape all that waiting and staying. You’ll find the bright places where Boom Bands are playing. With banner flip-flapping, once more you’ll ride high! Ready for anything under the sky. Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done! There are points to be scored. There are games to be won. And the magical things you can do with that ball will make you the winning-est winner of all. Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be, with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t. Because, sometimes, they won’t.

I’m afraid that some times you’ll play lonely games too. Games you can’t win ‘cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not, Alone will be something you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants. There are some, down the road between hither and yon, that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.

But on you will go though the weather be foul. On you will go though your enemies prowl. On you will go though the Hakken-Kraks howl. Onward up many a frightening creek, though your arms may get sore and your sneakers may leak. On and on you will hike. And I know you’ll hike far and face up to your problems whatever they are.

You’ll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You’ll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
Kid, you’ll move mountains!
So…be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray or Mordecai Ale Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!

Sometimes, you just need mom. And Dr. Seuss.

Why I Love my Brother

Exhibit A:
Yesterday we were talking on the phone for the first time since I moved out here. I told him I'd lost 6 pounds and he asks, "How many stones is that?" (In England it's typical to state your weight in stones. Each stone is 14 pounds. So if you weigh 140lbs, you're 14 stone.)
"That's about half a stone."
He chuckles. "I like stones. They make me giggle."
"Well that's good, because you've probably got about 12 or 13 of your own."
We then begin discussing his weight and what he would be in stones. The line goes quiet. I'm using Skype on my phone, so I wonder if the call has been dropped.
"You there?" I ask, stepping to the left, then right.
"Yeah, I'm just thinking about my stones."
And I laughed a big hearty laugh.

I love that no matter the distance, your family still does the things they always did. My mom helps me in so many ways, my dad makes me feel safe even if we just talk for a few minutes. I haven't gotten to talk to my sister yet, but hopefully soon, and my brother makes me laugh with his silliness.

Miss you, Ryan!

With my brother on my 21st Birthday. What a fun night!

----

In a couple hours Mick and I are catching the train up to London. We're meeting the Best Man, Rich, for dinner, then Mick and I are going to an event for pro-choice smoking stuff. We'll be on a Mississippi River Boat on the Thames, so I should have some cool pictures for you the next time I update. We also get to dress up, which is fun.
Thanks for stopping by!

My Last Day

It's weird to say it- this is my last night living in America. To be honest, it still hasn't sunk in. Tomorrow my dad is taking me and Mick to the airport at noon. Mom is going to stay here because there won't be enough room for all of us and the luggage in the car.
It's been a surreal day. A nice day, but still very surreal. I can't get over how normal everything seems. This is the biggest thing I've ever done in my life, the biggest thing I'll probably ever do. I keep expecting to feel something huge. All I feel is a bit of excitement tingled in with some sadness. It just doesn't seem...real. It seems like I'm leaving for England, but just for another trip. Not a move. Oh well, I guess it'll hit me soon enough.

Here is how I spent my last day in the good ole' US of A.
8:40am- Wake up and have breakfast in the living room while my mom, dad, niece, Mick, brother in law and I all hang out.
9:00am- decide to take a shower. Check my text messages and see that my best friend has asked me to come see her while she babysits so we can spend a bit of time together. Reply, yes. Shower, dry hair, do make up, throw in some laundry.
11:00am- Head up the highway with Mick to visit my friend. The kid is sleeping when we get there so we hang out and talk.
11:30am- Mick and I go to Subway and get lunch for the three of us, take it back to the house, talk and eat with Tabatha while the kid plays around the house.
1:30pm- Head back to my sister's house. Mick and I have accumulated souvenirs from our road trip last week, so we needed to shift some things in suitcases and reorganize. We spend some time doing this, completely unpack and repack all my suitcases. A few minor adjustments to Mick's as well.
3:00pm- Cool down after all the packing. My niece wakes up from a long nap, we hang out with the dog on the couch.
3:30pm- My sister gets home from work and cleans up while I watch Friends with dad.
4:30pm- My mom, sister and I head out to see Bridesmaids.
7:00pm- We get out of the movie, grab some dinner to take back to the house.
8:00pm- Eat dinner. I hunt for travel insurance online while Mom, sister, Mick and niece play Candyland.
Now we're all just hanging out watching a movie. Dad is going to bed and the rest of us are just getting some last minute time out of the night.
I'll update once we've gotten to England.

Sunday Quotes and Engagement Party!

First off, Happy Father's Day to my wonderful, wonderful dad! I love you so much and I'm really glad we got to spend the day together before I leave for England!
We had a really nice day, starting with brunch at a deli. I had a real pang of sadness watching my niece sing her favorite song, The Ants Go Marching (which just so happens to be my favorite childhood song, too) at the table. I teared up pretty bad and Mick and my brother noticed. I, gracious as always, shoved my face in my napkin and tried to regain composure. It was just so adorable and pure the way she was singing and it hit me how much I'm going to miss her. Then we came back to my sister's house and played Apples to Apples and hung out around the house. My brother and his wife left to go back to San Diego. Saying goodbye to my brother was really hard. All in all, it was a sad morning and Mick was constantly checking on me, attentive like he always is. I finally had to tell him I wasn't going to break so he could relax. I perked up a great deal when we went to the park to meet more family and friends and had a potluck. We sat in the sun, ate leftovers from the party last night, played football (our kind) and football (Mick's kind). It took Mick a while to get the hang of catching a football (our kind) because he's never done it before, but he did alright with throwing it. We hugged everybody goodbye and came back to my sister's again. She, my brother in law, Mick and I all got in the hot tub and cooked thoroughly.
That was our lovely Father's Day :)
Going with the trend of Father's Day, today's Sunday quotes are dedicated to my dad.

"There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself."
~John Gregory Brown

"He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."
~Clarence Budington Kelland

Yesterday was the engagement party! My mom and sister went way out of their way to give me and Mick a special night! Enjoy some pictures :)

The Less Glamorous Half

I want to be really honest on this blog. And so that means I have to tell you the other side of how things are going right now. I'm really excited to move to England, but there have been some tears. I think of how beautiful England is, how much I love the weather and history and Mick's family, and I feel really good. But then I remember there are going to be days when that probably won't be quite enough. There will be days when I want to go shopping with my mom and sister, see a movie with my dad, have a drink with my brother, play a board game with my niece and brother in law, or have sushi with my best friend. There are going to be days when all I want is a dose of familiarity, a place I've known my whole life where I can go and have some "me time" and it just won't be possible.
There will be days when a Skype call won't be enough, and I will hang up feeling sad and lonely for the people who raised me.
When I think of these days I know are coming, I can't help but cry.

My life is going to be a great adventure, but one that includes some sacrifices. I am so excited to meet the future, but of course I am sad and afraid at times. I try to think of all the amazing things I'm going to see and do, of the home Mick and I will make and the things and memories we will fill it with. I really try to focus on a lack of 100+ degree weather and lots of rain and green.
I just wanted to share with you guys that this is a big deal, and it's not just fun and exciting. There is another side to it, a side much less glamorous which requires me to say goodbye to my family for nearly a year at a time.

Now, onto happier things. Mick and I are heading to Los Angeles in a bit to see Canter's Deli (which he informs me is famous for its food and celebrity clientele. I'd never heard of it. Wait, who's the California native again?!), and then we're going to go see the Venice Boardwalk (cloudy and rainy today...) and possibly meet his friend for drinks later. Then tonight my parents arrive and tomorrow is the engagement party! Yay!

Stay at home... fiancee?

And now, for something completely different, unemployment! Not sure how I'll handle this, as I've been working pretty much steadily since I was 17. Everybody keeps asking me if I will teach in England, and my answer is no, not right away. I want to spend about a year just getting used to the culture and learning my way around before I throw myself into a room of children with lingo completely different from the lingo I'm familiar with. That would just be professional suicide. So, I think I'll get a job waiting tables once I'm able to start working after Mick and I are married, then, next year, we'll see.
Promotion was good yesterday. The girls looked like they were going to prom and some of the boys even wore suits. They all looked so cute and cried like they'd never see each other again. Some of my students asked to have their picture taken with me and said they'd miss me, which was very sweet.
At the staff luncheon my Language Arts partner spoke some words about me that made me want to cry and the school gave me a nice set of desert greeting cards with really pretty pictures so I don't forget where I come from. I packed the last bit of stuff in my car, turned in my keys and ended my two years at Centennial. I learned a lot at that place.
Yesterday afternoon was a whirlwind of cleaning and packing- I just have to finish this load of laundry and decide what I want to take of that, clean out my desk and throw away the last bit of trash and I'm done. Thank goodness! I never want to move ever again!
My brother and his wife got into town last night. My sister in law brought cupcakes, I had a strawberry milkshake one and it was fantastic. We didn't do much last night, just sat around and talked and I crashed probably at 9:30. Not sure what's on the agenda today, except for some time in the pool, finishing up my room, and probably lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings.
Hope everyone has a great start to summer vacation!

Bits and bobs

This is getting ridiculous. I am leaving Yuma a week from this coming Monday. Not forever, but in the sense that I'm moving. Moving. And how much have I done to prepare for that. Hah. Not much, really. I did do a bit of work last night, but, as I said, ridiculous. I have no motivation to go through 14 years of Stuff. So much Stuff. And it doesn't help that when I get home, mentally psyched up to get in there and do some work, Mick's always like "oh I want to go do this and this and this." Duuuude. So I've recruited a very strict friend to come over tonight and force me to do it while Mick watches her child. I'm hoping to finish under my bed and the window seat. And that just leaves the dreaded closet for tomorrow. My room is a disaster, though. I've always hated that, you know? That in-between stage when you are honestly cleaning, but there are stacks of Keep, Trash, and Donate and big black garbage bags. And so it looks dirtier than when you started. But I'm not embarrassed to have people over, because I have a good excuse for my mess.
Moving on. I'm so glad it's the weekend. Work is quickly just becoming a fight for survival at this point. Trying to keep the kids from going completely bonkers is quite a task. Next week is full of activities, though- we're finally going to watch The Diary of Anne Frank, which we finished reading a few weeks ago. There's an 8th grade pool party and BBQ, and then promotion is on Friday, as well as an end of the year luncheon. Then my brother and his wife are coming for the weekend, and Mick and I leave for the Grand Canyon and Vegas the following Monday. So there's lots going on, and this is why I need to get my butt in gear with the packing thing!
Today is mother daughter day. I'm really feeling the time limitations when I think of how I want to spend time with people before I go. So mom and I are going to go see Bridesmaids and have lunch and do some shopping. It's really weird and it occurred to me last night. You always start getting closer/getting along with people better when one of you is leaving. I also noticed this when I was 10 and moved from California to Arizona. I made so many new friends in the few months before I left, which made it harder to leave. Lately, my mom has been making me really laugh, and I'm noticing things in my dad that I'm really going to miss. Even my sister, who is ten years older than me, and I are finding all sorts of things that we have in common. I'm trying not to let this make me sad, though. I'm trying to think of it as a good thing, something that will help us all stay close when I'm living far, far away. But everything family related is really getting to me. I was picking out a Father's Day card yesterday at Target and just about every one of them made me want to burst into tears.
It's also happening with friends. Last night I went out with Brittany and Jake and some friends of theirs. I haven't seen them in possibly months, and of course all our best memories and laughs resurfaced. So, yeah, I'm basically in a mad scramble to spend as much time with everyone as possible.

And that's where we are this weekend. Hope everyone is having a great start to summer activities!

Memorial Day Weekend

What an awesome weekend! Mick and I just returned from my sister's home in Southern California. We left Friday after I got off work and just got back here a bit ago. It was a fun-filled weekend.
Saturday we slept in a bit (something I treasure!) and played with my niece who gets smarter every time I see her. She is three and at the "why?" stage. After I finally got out of my pajamas, Mick went with me to the cemetery where my maternal grandparents are buried. My mom had asked us to go and put flowers on their graves. It was set up beautifully for Memorial Day with flags on the graves of everyone who served in the armed forces, and so my grandparents both had a flag. It was emotional, telling grandma all of the changes in my life since I last saw her. Meeting Mick and getting engaged, getting ready to move away. But that's all sad talk, let's move on... Then we went and met my best friend, Tabatha, and her husband Remy for Hangover 2 and sushi. It was a very fun night.

My wedding band.

Sunday we spent hours at the mall. We had lunch at Johnny Rockets then wandered around, mostly looking for a wedding band for me. We didn't really find anything that worked great with my engagement ring or that I just had to have. So we headed back to the house. Then I was whisked away by my sister BACK to the mall for a marathon shopping trip to find a dress for the engagement party she and my mom are throwing for me and Mick the weekend before we fly out to England. My sister is an awesome person to shop with. She grabs EVERYTHING and just makes you try it on, even if you don't like it. I ended up getting a very cute pink, satin dress that I never would have tried on if she hadn't made me. We also looked at wedding bands at Macy's and found one I liked. Then we had dinner at Taco Bell and headed back to the house where we found Mick and my brother in law playing a third round of The Lady Bug Game with my niece. She wanted to play more after, so I played a game with her. She's so, so smart and I want to spend as much time with her as I can before I leave.
This morning I drug Mick back to Macy's so he could see the ring. We ended up getting it. The photo on top is the one we ended up getting, more or less. I couldn't find a photo of it on Macy's site so I had to find a similar one somewhere else. The second is a photo of it with my engagement ring. I'm still working on figuring how to move photos in a post so be patient with me please!

My band and engagement ring.

After the jewelery store we headed back to the house for a shower and to pack up our stuff. When we walked in the door I got a big hug from my niece and she told me she was going to miss me when we left for Yuma. I told her we'd be back in a few weeks for five whole days, which made her very happy. I haven't had the heart yet to tell her that after that I won't see her until next spring. My sister's boss was having a Memorial Day BBQ so we headed over to their house for about a half hour to just say hello before we hit the road. We grabbed some lunch and off we went! After 6 hours, an accidental detour, spilling gas on my foot and making the car smell we made it home! Not quite ready to start the work week, but it's a busy week with appointments and packing and cleaning, so I might as well get it all started!
Hope you all had a great holiday weekend :)

5 shows a day, 180 days a year

I love the bit of time I have each morning from about 5:20am to 5:45 am. It's my time to eat breakfast, read/watch the news, and just think (and often freak out) about the day ahead- teaching 8th graders. Teaching middle school is a tough gig, especially two and half weeks from the last day of school. I stole the title for this entry from a fellow middle school teacher. "5 shows a day, 180 days a year." It's a grueling performance schedule. The apathy I see in these kids about their education, respect, behavior... pretty much everything, astounds me. I mean, yesterday, I literally engaged in the following conversation with a 13 year old.
"*student's name* you need to be following along."
"We're just reading a book. What did anyone ever learn from a book?"
I was literally speechless. But mostly I was sad for this kid.

Now don't get me wrong. A lot of these kids are fantastic. On more than one occasion I've asked a parent, "what did you do to get your child to be this way? I just want to know for when I have my own someday!" It's been a really difficult year for me. It started off pretty good, but then I went through some personal/health issues, and I tried really hard not to let it cut in with my job. I'm seeing now, though, that it probably did.That's okay though," 'e lives an' learns," as good old Del Boy would say (I'm making a reference to a British tv show. Google "Only Fools and Horses" if you want clarification). Teaching is a forgiving job, but I'm beginning to learn that a teacher isn't forgiven her mistakes for oh, ten months. And I'm not talking about the administration or anything, because they're normally really great at working with you and providing you with whatever resources you need. I'm talking about those moments where we see as teachers "oh, I shouldn't have done that...."

Moving on, though. Mick and I have an exciting adventure coming up in a few weeks. Apart from packing all my junk and throwing even more away (any of my local friends wear a size 9 shoe? I'm getting rid of loads, let me know!). We booked our trip to the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas. We're going to be spending one night in Williams, Arizona and then making the little trek up to Vegas. Mick is adamant about seeing the Grand Canyon before he leaves. He's been quoted numerous times saying "I can't spend 6 months in Arizona and not see the Grand Canyon!" Fair enough, darling. To be honest, though, I'm more excited about Vegas! We got a great deal on a room at the Luxor, and considering my nerd-tastic obsession with Egyptian history (even the Vegas cheesy take on it), it worked out very well!

We also have a mini-adventure this weekend. We're heading to my sister's in Ventura County for memorial day. She's taking me shopping for a dress for the engagement party and I'm taking family photos of she, her husband and my gorgeous niece, Ella. We leave tomorrow after work and I can't wait!

27 days until we go to England! Ohhh, I have so much to DO!