"I tell you: one must have chaos within oneself, to give birth to a dancing star."
-Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

"Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you’ve got to say, and say it hot."
-D.H. Lawrence


Friday, June 17, 2011

The Less Glamorous Half

I want to be really honest on this blog. And so that means I have to tell you the other side of how things are going right now. I'm really excited to move to England, but there have been some tears. I think of how beautiful England is, how much I love the weather and history and Mick's family, and I feel really good. But then I remember there are going to be days when that probably won't be quite enough. There will be days when I want to go shopping with my mom and sister, see a movie with my dad, have a drink with my brother, play a board game with my niece and brother in law, or have sushi with my best friend. There are going to be days when all I want is a dose of familiarity, a place I've known my whole life where I can go and have some "me time" and it just won't be possible.
There will be days when a Skype call won't be enough, and I will hang up feeling sad and lonely for the people who raised me.
When I think of these days I know are coming, I can't help but cry.

My life is going to be a great adventure, but one that includes some sacrifices. I am so excited to meet the future, but of course I am sad and afraid at times. I try to think of all the amazing things I'm going to see and do, of the home Mick and I will make and the things and memories we will fill it with. I really try to focus on a lack of 100+ degree weather and lots of rain and green.
I just wanted to share with you guys that this is a big deal, and it's not just fun and exciting. There is another side to it, a side much less glamorous which requires me to say goodbye to my family for nearly a year at a time.

Now, onto happier things. Mick and I are heading to Los Angeles in a bit to see Canter's Deli (which he informs me is famous for its food and celebrity clientele. I'd never heard of it. Wait, who's the California native again?!), and then we're going to go see the Venice Boardwalk (cloudy and rainy today...) and possibly meet his friend for drinks later. Then tonight my parents arrive and tomorrow is the engagement party! Yay!

1 comment:

  1. That's how I felt when we moved to Chicago - honestly, there are still some days I feel like that. Where all I want to do is go visit my parents. But, I know that when I got there, I'd want to come back here in two days because this is home now. You'll love it there. You'll be with Mick, in your home together, and that will be more special than anything. :)

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