"I tell you: one must have chaos within oneself, to give birth to a dancing star."
-Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

"Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you’ve got to say, and say it hot."
-D.H. Lawrence


Sunday, January 1, 2012

Auld Lang Syne

Last night the pub held a New Years Eve party, and I was selected to work with some of my favourite coworkers. Doors opened at 7:00, but people didn't start arriving until after 8:00. There was food, a DJ and prizes, and lots and lots of people drinking. Mick came with his best friend who is visiting, and so did my sister in law and her group. Everyone was in high spirits and the place was the most hopping I've ever seen it, with the music and disco lights. I'd walk the length of the bar, collecting empty glasses and bottles, put them in the recycling or dish washer and by the time I turned around there were more to collect. Bottles of spirits were emptying at an astounding rate, and I had more than a few drinks bought for me by lovely customers. When the countdown was two minutes, our bosses forced us off the bar to have a drink and enjoy ourselves. I sat with Mick and Gus and watched the numbers dwindle down. 10, 9. Mick came to America with me. 8,7. We got engaged. 6,5. My brother got married, such a beautiful wedding. 4,3. I moved to England and started over. 2,1. My sister became a world champion. I married my best friend. Happy New Year!!!
I watched the rest of the bar with a far-away feeling in my heart. Party poppers cracked and the smell of gun powder filled my nostrils. Someone had brought light up bubble guns, and drunk girls giggled and danced in them. Sparklers were being lit, hot diamonds dripping from a stick. I loved the way people would light a stranger's sparkler with their own.
I thought of the millennium, 12 years ago. I was 13 and living in Yuma. I remember standing in the street and shouting Happy New Year surrounded by friends and family. My dad let me have a puff of his cigar just before midnight. I told him I didn't want the world to end without knowing what it was like. How time moves so quickly. But last night I sat in that loud pub on a square leather ottoman, kissed my new husband, and watched as people stood in a circle, held hands and sang Auld Lang Syne. Over the next five minutes I found, hugged and kissed my new friends and coworkers, and even the sweet little Italian man who comes to the pub somewhat regularly found me and gave me a hug, as well as the smooth talking man with a sharp London accent. So much joy was all over the place, but as is usual for me, happy occasions are usually tinged with sadness, too. I'm not sure why, but I've always been that way. Perhaps it's for the passing of time and leaving behind another year. A year is full of so many moments, and most of the joy comes from the little moments that you don't remember several months later- a joke, a really good meal, a moving film. And this year it was laced with a sad hope, that this year will be better, newer. Don't get me wrong, 2011 was the biggest year of my life, but there is still so much work to do, so much to figure out, and I just hope that I can make a dent in it this year.

So Happy New Year to you all, and remember, auld acquaintance should not be forgot, nor should times gone by.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_YnmHLynRY&feature=youtube_gdata_player

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