Going the Distance

In writing this blog, in telling the story of Aindrea and Mick, and in talking to people face to face, I've been surprised to hear how many of them (the women, really) want what I have. I'm not surprised that they want a fantastic husband who is also your best friend, but they want the whole process. It happens almost daily, a customer at the pub will notice that I'm obviously not from around here, ask where I'm from.
"America"
"Oh, what are you doing all the way over here."
"I married an Englishman."
"Oh, how did you meet?"
"We met online as teenagers. Over the years we kept in touch finally met, and now here we are."
"Oh, how romantic, what a love story!"
And I'm always a little bit surprised. Even a friend of mine said to me once, "I want what you have. I want that love story and I want a British boy."
We all want a love story, and we all deserve a great one. British men are plenty nice, but they're still just men. What I don't think people realize is just how hard it all is, and how much it entails. I love Mick more that anything in the world, but would I recommend that any couple go through what we did? Absolutely not. It's hard, it hurts, you find the most stupid things to argue about when you're apart, and you just end up not being very nice to each other a lot of the time. Not because you're horrible or you don't love each other, but because you're so frustrated with the situation and you don't know how else to express it. We were only apart for 7 months, but in that time, we had a lot of arguments, a lot of doubts, and I even had to visit the ER twice because I was in so much stress, I had a panic attack that lasted for several days.
Mick and I have both talked about this, and we have agreed that if, for some reason (God forbid) things didn't work out for us, we wouldn't do this again, with another person. Would I do it again, with Mick? Yes, because what we have is special and unbreakable. It takes unquestionable and complete trust, a lot of faith, and the kind of love you only find once in a lifetime.
I think it's really important that people don't limit themselves. If you decide at some point in your life that you're going to have, x,y,z (in my friends case, a British man), you're going to be focused on only one area. And if you do that, you're going to limit yourself and you might miss out on something really fantastic. Perhaps a Swedish guy? An Australian guy? A guy from New York or Vancouver, or, most desirably, a guy from your own town. Don't put yourself in a box, be open to life and all the surprises that life sends your way. I didn't plan to fall in love with an English boy, but it fell in my lap, I discovered how important he was to me and I decided that, come hell or high water, I'd fight to keep him. We can't help who we love, and so that also means that you can't make yourself love someone. You might find someone who checks all the boxes on your list, but at the end of the day, you might really surprise yourself with what you actually want.

Today I met a girl in the pub, and she asked all those typical questions. Once she realized we had been long distance, she immediately launched into all these questions about how she should handle a sitation with a guy that is long distance. I immediately recalled the insecurities, the desperation, the excitement, and the sadness. Let me tell you, I didn't envy this girl one little bit. I basically told her that she just had to be open, honest, and decide what would work for her, and would just have to go with the flow.
And then she spoke the words, "but I don't want to just wait and see, I want to know."
I could have laughed out loud. Not because it's funny what she said, or that it's so unusual or unreasonable to want to know how love will turn out, but because I can remember saying that to my mom, or to Brittany, curled up on her couch and wallowing in the distance. "I just want to know if we're going to make it." Over and over. I was such a broken record. I wished the girl luck and walked away wondering when I'd become Dr. Love, but I was glad to be able to help, because I certainly know how she feels.
Nobody has a crystal ball (as my mom has told me over and over and over my entire life when I worry about something) and we can't know how something is going to turn out.
But isn't not knowing half the fun?

I guess I just wanted to bring some light to the situation. I'm not saying I'm not really happy, because I am. I have snagged an amazing opportunity- I'm living in another country and learning about another culture, I'm a newlywed and the world is my oyster. But we're still a couple, like anyone else. We fight. I'm sometimes really unreasonable, and he's sometimes really insensitive. I get sad and homesick and want to go home somedays, and he gets sad about that. But each day, we wake up in the same bed, happy to see the other there. And that's all we wanted for so very long.

You just have to greet life with open arms, take what it gives you, and turn that into something that makes you want to get up every day and smile at the world. I found it in an English boy, but you mind find it somewhere else. And that is beautiful.

London Getaway

Yesterday afternoon Mick and I returned from our mini trip to London. We went up early on Monday and stayed the night. We walked and walked (as one does when in London) and finished up our Christmas shopping, saw some of our favourites sights again, and enjoyed good food. In the evening we hailed a cab and went past Buckingham Palace and Horse Guard Parade and Trafalgar Square and got dropped off in front of the Garrick Theatre. Chicago did not disappoint. The music was great ad America Fererra was fantastic. Even Mick didn't hate it too much.
After the show we visited the M&Ms store in Leicester Square, then caught another can back to the hotel, where we slept the sleep of people who walked miles in a cold and rainy city. I'm the morning we had breakfast at a pub near the hotel, then we walked past Marble Arch over to Hyde Park for the winter wonderland carnival. We drank mulled wine, are roasted chestnuts, and Mick even won me a little stuffed pig shooting Christmas ornaments. After that it was back to the hotel to grab our things and get a cab to the train station. Neither of us wanted to leave - it was wonderful to have some us time, and I for one came home feeling very full of love.
I just love London in the winter, especially at Christmastime.
Have some pictures :)

For Mom

My mother started a tradition with my sister, her oldest child. When each of us graduated with our bachelor's degree, she made us a quilt. I chose pink and green and toile. And with love and patience, she stitched a beautiful masterpiece.

The other day my mom asked me, “how could you move like that?” She didn’t mean it in any harsh way. She and I are very different people, and she just meant she personally couldn’t do the massive thing I have done- quitting my job, leaving everything I know, and starting over in another country. I always knew that it would be hard for my mom when I left.
But it made me think- how could I, the little girl who used to have a panic attack every day before school and couldn’t spend the night at a friends house without wanting to go home in the middle of the night, become this woman who did what I did.

And then I got this quote, and I think it answers both my mother’s and my own question.

"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."  ~Marion C. Garretty

And it’s true. I’ve always had anxiety problems- most of the time it’s underlying, but other times it’ll flare up and can be pretty debilitating. When I was a kid, I wanted to quit school because I hated it so much, and I had a literal phobia of going to school until I was about twelve, as well as separation anxiety. But my mom and dad pushed me, because education and socialization is very important and they didn’t let me drop out and get home-schooled. I begged. I threw fits. But because my mom and dad loved me enough to not give in (and to go through the panicked battle with me day after day after day after day) and do what was best for me, I was able to finish elementary school. I was able to finish middle school, high school, earn an associates degree and graduate with honors with a Bachelor’s degree.

And then, when Mick came back in my life two years ago, I knew I would have to make a decision at some point. It was difficult for me, because I knew that for he and I to be together, a lot of things in my life were going to change. I worried what my parents would think, what my brother and sister would say. But I found the answer within myself. I found the strength to do what was best for me, because I’d seen my mother do it for me when I was a little girl. I saw her say no to the easy way, and do it the right way.

So, to answer my mom’s question- I was able to move away because I did what she did- I knew what was best for me, and even though I knew it would be hard, I did it anyway. She loved me and did the impossible, so that I could, too. 

Although a Mother's love isn't a love I understand just yet, I do know some about it, because I've been on the receiving end. I've also watched my sister grow with motherhood; I've seen how she looks at my niece and listened to her talk about just how much that gorgeous little girl means to her. So while I don't yet have my own children and can't completely grasp what a mother feels, I have an inkling, and I am thankful to be loved in such a way by such a remarkable woman, and for the opportunity to love her back with a daughter's love.

Weekend recap

Packing, moving, a date with the husband for no real reason and a quiet night to myself with Sex and the City 2. Just a bit of what we've been up to around here. And some photos.

It's weird how different a house looks when it's nearly empty. And so echo-y, too!

A night on my own- my husband and his step-dad made another trip back to Bognor for one last load of things on Saturday. Mick and I are house/business/cat sitting for his dad this week, so I had the house to myself and enjoyed a bubble bath of mammoth proportions.

Dinner at a historic inn down the road in this darling little village. Good food, good wine, good times <3

Fresh autumn apples from my father-in-law's garden. I'm thinking some baked cinnamon apples are in order with dinner tonight :)

The hair band and the rings

On the morning of June 23rd, 2010, I was a bundle of nerves. I woke up in my best friend of 22 years' spare bedroom near Los Angeles. Tabatha was going to take me to the airport that day so that I could fly to England to meet the man (unbeknownst at the time) who would be my husband. We rushed around the house, kind of re-packing my suitcases. I was trying to do my hair and makeup in a way that would last 16 hours of travel (hah). As we talked about all the what-ifs and hopes and dreams, Tabatha said she wanted to give me something for good luck, but she didn't know what. After rummaging through he jewellery box, she pulled out a purple and teal hair band. "I just feel like I should give you something to keep with you through this." It went on my left wrist and stayed there through the whole month I was in England. I wore it for a while after I got back to America, but it started to stretch out and went into my makeup bag to live for a while. I've switched makeup bags a few times but never lost it. Seeing it now and then, peeking out from underneath a tube of mascara makes me happy. The other day I noticed it again and glanced at my left wrist, where it used to live. Traveling further down my arm and onto my had led my eyes to my wedding and engagement rings. I had to smile and felt a nice little warm feeling in my heart. I took the hair band out of my makeup bag and put it back on my left wrist. The past, present and future.
It's a good reminder of a few things: a good friend's love, the power of hope, and the love we all search for. And the love I found.

Instagr.am

Some of my friends have been doing this instagr.am thing and I always thought it looked fun and cool. Since I just got the new iPhone (omg I love it!) I thought I'd download the app and try it out. Here are a few from last night and today.


Have a great Saturday, peeps!

Doing what I do, son!

Doesn't he just look like a rock star her? Love this.

Sasha's gorilla face!

Harley! He's getting so big and so flippin cute. He looks like a stuffed animal.

Things I Miss...

Before I left America I made a list about the things I would miss about living in the Southwest. While some of these things have stayed the same, a lot of it has changed. I don't think you know how you're really going to feel about something before it happens, no matter how much preparation time you may have. I had time to think about this and prepare for it ( a little bit of time). I thought a lot about how hard it would be, yet how exciting. I tried to anticipate the things that would be difficult for me so that when the events occurred, I would be able to sit back and think "hey, it's okay, you knew this was coming." And for the most part, I have been able to do this without too much difficulty. However, there have been some things that I really miss that sort of surprised me.

-Commercialization. As silly as that sounds, it's true. I really miss how much we hyped everything up in America. Halloween, for instance. I loved how ABC family played family Halloween movies all through October, and how lots of people decorated with luminaries (I think that's what they're called?), scarecrows, pumpkins, witches, and all that stuff. It's just not that big of a deal here. They do have candy and costumes and a few decorative items in super markets and stuff like that, but it's just not the same.

-Being able to drive. Now, that's not a cultural difference. It's just that Mick is still working on getting his driver's license, and I can't afford to drive here because insurance is really ridiculously disgustingly expensive. Once I get a job I will take some lessons just so I can get used to driving on the other side of the road, and the other side of the car, and with the shifter on my left side. And round-abouts and narrow roads. All of that. But for the time being, if we can't get somewhere without walking, taking the bus, or getting a lift, we just don't do it. It definitely limits our activities, so I'm looking forward to Mick being done with all his lessons and tests and stuff.

-Family. I knew this one was going to be the hardest. Apart from the day to day stuff that I miss (having lunch with mom, catching a movie with dad, going to Stone Brewery with my brother and his wife, going shopping with my sister, or playing boardgames with my brother in law and niece) there are also the big things. Being so far away meant that the only family that could make it to my wedding were my parents. My sister qualified for a huge riding competition in Mexico this month and because we're so far away, Mick and I won't be able to make it and the rest of the family is going. That's been a bummer- I'm really proud of my sister and wish so much that I could be there to root for her. This family stuff has been the hardest thing. Most days it's totally fine, I talk to my mom on skype a few times a week and we facebook chat often, I talk to my dad once a week and to my brother and sister when I can. But there have been those moments that hit me like a train and I realize- "oh wow. this is permanent." And I'm left with this really scared and sad feeling. But it always goes away.

-Having a job. Now, of course everybody wishes they could just get money and not have a job. But I do miss working. I miss getting up and having somewhere to be, getting a paycheck and interacting with colleagues. Some days I even miss my students. But I'm hoping my visa will go through soon and then I'll be able to work and get going there.

-Yuma. Now, it's not so much Yuma itself that I miss. I just miss certain things about it. The sunsets, my parents' house. Kneaders and Buffalo Wild Wings. Going to visit Outback where I worked for so long. Target! Oh man, I miss Target so much! And Barnes & Nobles, too! Juliana's Cafe. How American Starbucks do Pumpkin Spice lattes. I've checked at one Starbucks around here and there was no Pumpkin Spice Latte :( I know these things aren't all unique to Yuma, but it all made up the whole. Oh and sushi! As far as I can tell sushi isn't that big of a deal here and I miss it so much!

-Friends. This one hasn't been quite as hard as family, but it's still rough. I do get lonely here, but I know once I get a job I'll make some friends, though they'll never replace the ones back home. Like Tabatha, Brittany, Celeste. The ones who've been through it all with me. I hope they can all come visit me soon. Because I miss them loads.


And as far as the picture goes... that's what they say, isn't it? "Home is where the heart is." I can't predict the future, but I have a feeling that Arizona/California will always be home. And because such a big part of my life was there, and so many people I love are still there, part of my heart will always be there. But England is starting to feel a bit like home, as well. And as more things fill my heart here- friends, a house, children- it will become home, too. And at the end of the day, that's two homes. Two sets of friends, two families, two places I love. How much luckier can a girl get?

Just some thoughts

Sorry I missed on yesterday's photo assignment and failed to blog. I was feeling pretty under the weather yesterday but by bed time felt like myself again. I plan to do a photo post later in the day, but for now I just want to share a couple things I've been thinking about lately.

The other night, I ordered a pizza for Mick and myself. I used my credit card with my maiden name, so the pizza was delivered to Aindrea Muldoon, not White. I can only imagine the confusion of the pizza delivery guy when he arrived at the house with a pizza for a person with a very Irish name, and someone with a very American accent answered the door, in an area of England with a large Polish demographic.
The world is such a melting pot, isn't it? This little thought made me smile.

Something else I've been thinking about... do you ever have those moments spent with someone very dear to you... you might be a bit annoyed with them or just feeling grouchy in general. But then,you notice a certain word, or look, or movement of their body so characteristic to them. You watch, observe, and take this in without their knowledge, and suddenly the essence of that person, why you love them, why they mean what they do is in that moment so completely evident, and you can't help but feel bad for being a bit annoyed in the first place. Does that make any sense? Do you know what I'm talking about?

Last week I was a bit of a grouch, and just short in general, especially with Mick. He hadn't done anything wrong, I was just feeling really down and homesick. And then we were in the garden, trying to outsmart the rabbits and get them out of the run and he just did something, I'm not even sure what. A certain movement, a look on his face, and I was just smacked in the face with all the reasons why I love this sweet guy so much.

And here's one of those reasons, right here in this picture. This is from last Christmas day. Let's just get one thing very straight- women are silly creatures, and we sometimes want to do things without much rhyme or reason. Well, I'm clearly a woman, and so I'm not immune to such whimsy. And Mick is just so great with that 99% of the time. Even if it does mean freezing his bum off in the snow because his desert rat of a (then) girlfriend who hasn't really ever seen it wants to throw snowballs and make snowmen.
And then, when the snow is nothing but melted and refrozen as ice... it takes a true man not to get angry when the outing becomes snow wrestling.

Birthday Boy!

I think it's safe to say that Mick had a very nice 25th birthday yesterday. I snuck out of bed before him, made him a cup of tea and put a birthday banner on our bedroom door and crept in with his tea. I wanted to make him breakfast in bed, but he's one of those people who doesn't like to eat right when he gets up. So tea was all I could really do, but he was happy with this. He hadn't slept very good because it was really windy and all night we could hear it whipping around the house. He had his tea and I gave him his card and one gift- a little stuffed Gizmo from Gremlins, because he reminds me of Mick's dog. The rest of the gifts were saved for the evening.

We got up and I made breakfast- French toast and bacon. Kind of bacon. Did you know you could melt bacon? Well, you can. I've never cooked bacon over a gas stove before, and apparently I made it too hot. I looked one second at crispy, slightly burntish bacon, and turned around and it was literally just a sizzling pile of gooey carbon. I sustained a nasty burn  on my knuckle trying to not set the house on fire, and the smoke alarm went off twice. The kitchen still smells of burnt bacon. I salvaged what I could and Mick still had a nice birthday breakfast. We ate at the table- something that's not common around here. I grew up always eating at the table, and lately we've been trying to do this together because I think meal time is talk time, social time with one another. We usually eat in front of the tv and then everyone just ends up shushing one another.

I hopped in the shower and we caught the bus into Chichester. I found a pair of boots for winter and to take on our honeymoon in the Lake District (rainnnnny. why do you think there are so many lakes?). Turns out I don't really like them and will take them back.... We met Mick's mum for lunch and I snuck off to book the table for dinner and buy a cake to leave with the restaurant. Mick hates any kind of public attention, and loads of strangers singing to you in a restaurant counts. I went back to the cafe and avoided his interrogation and we had our lunch. We walked down to the snooker club and played for a good two hours. Snooker is a pool type game, but with different balls, rules, and a massive table. Then we saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes, which was actually really really good. We went back home and Laura was waiting for us. We all went out to dinner and yes, Mick was surprised with that cake, although when he saw the waitresses bringing it out, he mumbled some very ungentlemanly words that I will not repeat here.

Then we came back to the house and played Apples to Apples which meant many laughs were had by all. Mostly me and Laura.

Here are some pics of the day. 

Didn't you know I married Osama? Getting dressed after I woke him up with tea.

French Toast (or eggy bread as they call it here!)

Playing snooker.

And avoiding the camera at dinner. As always.

Happy Birthday, babe! I love you and hope the coming year brings you (and us) everything you hope for.

And I'll leave everyone with an amusing quote on birthdays:

There is nothing better than birthday cake. It's like a slice of concentrated love with buttercream frosting.

Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata, Animal Crossing: Wild World, 2005

Go Fish

We had another nice day around here. Mick and I slept in late again, had a quick breakfast of cereal and decided to walk down to the beach. It was really windy all day, and the water was incredibly choppy. I couldn't believe how high the tide was, and with the choppy waves rolling in... the water was way higher than normal.

 

We wandered around town for a bit, then decided to have Mick's favorite meal in the world- a fry up at the little cafe up the road. The rest of the day was spent doing simple, enjoyable things

like mowing the garden

Watching the dog eat the grass that the mower didn't pick up (doesn't she look like Gizmo from The Gremlins in this picture? Sometimes she holds her ears in a certain way where she looks like him. Cracks me up!)

And playing card games in bed. Do you have any threes?

Tomorrow is Mick's 25th birthday. I have a very special day planned for him- most of which he already knows about because I'm no good at keeping surprises secrets. I will write about it tomorrow. Have a nice Monday-- as nice as you can.

Let me count the ways...

Today has been a great day. I've been busy almost the entire day- working out, helping Mick with stuff, cleaning the kitchen then making it dirty again cooking dinner. I'm sitting here on the couch looking at Mick and just keep smiling at him. I can't help but think how much I not only love him, but also our relationship. We always have fun, and a few people have commented on how fun they find our banter. It's one of my favorite things about us, for sure.
So, let's embarrass Mick and talk about him. Yes? Yes.

One of the things I love most about this guy is that he always looks slightly surprised in his photos, like above.
But let's focus on the banter. Now, we're both pretty quick witty people so I can't share every conversation, but I can share a couple.

A few months back, just a couple days after we got engaged, we were texting back and forth while I was on my planning period at work. It was just after Rebecca Black's God awful song came out. We love to make fun of that song.

Mick: Are we going out tonight?
Me: Yeah for a bit.
Mick: ok, well we should talk to my mum first so shall I tell her we'll talk at 3.30? ( I hadn't spoken to her since he popped the question)
Me: Yeah I wasn't planning on going out until after dinner anyway.
Mick: Why so late?
Me: Because it's friday friday. We gettin down on friday
Mick: But will we kick in the front seat or kick it in the back seat?
Me: We gotta make our mind up!
Mick: Which seat shall I choose?
Me: Got your best friend on your right.
Mick: but if neither of us know where to sit, we'll still be confused...
Me: Wait....weren't  we going to take the bus?
Mick: ohhh yeah. good job you remembered otherwise i'd be in the car looking
like a right idiot
Me: This is why I'm marrying you.

More recently, tonight in fact, another one happened. I was walking down the the corner shop while Mick hopped in the shower. We're having movie night and we wanted some snacks. As I was walking, a man was walking towards me. I noticed right away that he looked like Gerard Butler. Gerard Butler is on my "list." You know if you've seen Friends.
I pulled out my phone and sent Mick a text. "Just saw Gerard Butler's twin. May not come home to you." A few minutes later, I got a reply. "Drop the popcorn off first."
Sigh. I need to be better at keeping him on his toes.

Anyways, I love the guy. I'm really happy that we're still as crazy about each other as we were a year ago. It gives me high hopes for a marriage where we won't end up just feeling like roommates after a while. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to snuggle him.

More wedding details and lovey goo

Today Mick and I went into town to pick out the suits for he and the groomsmen at Moss Bros.! We picked out a really nice grey suit with a creme and green waistcoat and matching cravat. Take a looksie!

Waistcoat and cravat in our chosen colors

Morning suit (both images from moss.co.uk)

He and his two groomsmen (who are wonderful guys) are all going to look so handsome. But of course, I'm most excited to see Mick in it. While we were in town, I also picked up his ring after having it engraved with a special message.

Also, we're going to be doing M&Ms as wedding favours! I thought this was a great idea because, duh, who doesn't love M&Ms! And also because Mick and I had a ball when we were at the M&M store in Vegas, looking at all the awesome merchandise. The favors will look something like this-

image from mymms.co.uk

Annnd for the wedding car.... a white London Taxi! How much more English can it get?! There are options that are a lot fancier- Royce, Jaguar, Diamlier... but there's something that's just so cute and classic and unique to us about the Taxi. They also decorate it with flowers and ribbons matching your theme, so we'll get pink and green.

image from cars4weddings.co.uk

Okay, enough wedding stuff for now, I've been cramming it down everyone's throat lately. I also want to just talk about how Mick and I are doing because, obviously, that's the whole reason all of this is happening. And while I never want this blog to become a place for my mushy love monologues, I do want to address it a bit, because this is our love story, after all.

I am so happy. I've always loved waking up in Bognor, hearing the seagulls and snuggling with Mick. I really just can't tell you how *insert powerful word here* it is to look at him and know we never have to worry about the logistics anymore. And even though we have our scuffles (but what passionate relationship doesn't?), everything about him makes me want to spend forever with him- his smell, smile, eyes and just the fantastic guy he is.

This is happiness, and this is love.

Me and Mick at his sister's birthday dinner a few weeks ago

Out of the Mouths of Brits, Volume II

 Alright, a lot of people really liked my English Slang post from last week, so I spent a few days compiling more sayings and phrases and words to share with you! Here goes.

Knob- a slang word for male genitalia, often used for an insult. "Don't be such a knob!" It's not as offensive as it seems. 

Stroppy- this is used when someone is being very moody. Sometimes when I'm being bratty and throw a sassy line at Mick he looks at me all exasperated and says in a high-pitched voice, "Alright, stroppy!"


Got a cob on- A way of saying you're in a bad mood or sulking. Again, Mick has asked me "why have you got a cob on?" I'm not entirely sure where it comes from. And for the record, I'm not always in a bad mood!


Thick- Stupid, unintelligent.

Innit- A chavy way of saying "isn't it." Example, "that car is well fast, innit?!"

Trolly- grocery cart

Lorry- Large truck, like an eighteen wheeler.

Pikey- common, low class, trailer trash. Can describe a thing, area or a person. "This place is full of pikeys." or "This neighborhood is so pikey!" It's kind of how they describe gypsies and pikey comes from the term "turnpike" which is the side of the road and where lots of gypsies would camp out.

Chav- This one took me ages to understand. I still find it difficult to explain, so read here.

Holiday- what they call vacation. "Oh, I'd love a holiday on the beach!"

Cheers- Thanks.

Plonker- comes from Only Fools and Horses. Stupid, idiot. Del Boy always told his brother Rodney "don' be a plonka awl ya life!"

Tart- promiscuous woman or slutty dressers

Biscuit/Cookie- Okay, this is a huge debate between Americans and Brits. In America, we have cookies. It's a pretty broad range of tasty snacks. In England, it's broken down into two categories- cookies and biscuits. In England, this is a cookie, just like it is in America:

image from cookiedelivery.com

And in England these would be considered biscuits, even though in America they'd just be more cookies:

image from buchnknight.blogspot.com

Bobby- from kaboodle.com

So, all very cookie type things. The best way I can think to describe the difference is that fluffy more home-made type things are considered to be cookies, while harder, more compressed baked goods are considered biscuits.

Copper- A police officer. Not to be mistaken for a bobby.

Bobby- A certain type of police officer that wears a helmet.

Ickle- small, tiny. On at least one occasion Mick has called me "ickle sleepy head."

Petal- An affectionate nickname, generally for a woman. If I'm lucky I get called this.

Plank- a stupid person.

Ponce- Someone who dresses and acts fancier than they probably are.

Posh-  Classy and sophisticated

Sod- Meaning sodomite, but that is in the old fashioned context. More commonly used as a gentle form of fool, bastard, or idiot. "You cheeky sod!"

Blow off- To break wind

Bog roll- Toilet paper. The restroom here is sometimes called the bog.

Chuffed- Pleased, stoked, proud. "I was really chuffed that everyone liked the cookies I made!"

Toilet- The restroom. You don't really ever hear someone say "I need to use the restroom" over here. It's generally "I need the toilet," which kind of grosses me out, because it makes me think of the actual bowl and it's just yucky.

Fit- sexy, attractive

Fiver/tenner- Five or ten pound note (money).

Frog- What the English people call the French. The French and the English don't like each other much, but then again, who really likes the french?

Gogglebox- This one I haven't heard too often, but it means television. "Turn on the old gogglebox, will you?"

Kip- Sleep. "I'm going to try to catch some kip."

Taking the piss- Messing with someone, joking around. A less offensive way of saying it is "taking the mickey." I got Mick his favorite television series on DVD for Christmas and he looked up at me shocked and said "are you taking the piss?!" In this case he pretty much meant "are you serious?!"

Skint- broke, no money. "I'd love to go, but I'm skint."


That's probably all I'll do for a while, because for now that's all I know! But if I learn more I will post them.

Mick and I have been talking and we (I) really want to get a rabbit. We both want a pet- I haven't had one since my childhood dog, Bailey, passed away a few years ago and Mick misses his rats. Where we live we can't really have a dog or a cat and they're a bit more of a financial obligation than we're looking for, so we decided a rabbit would be nice. It seems to be alright with Mick's mum and step-dad. I've fallen in love with a little guy an hour away who looks something like this:

image from petrabbitworld.com

He's a Dwarf Lop baby and I have to have him so I can schnoz all over his little face.We're going to go see him later in the week and put down a deposit.

Other than that, I've been just doing odds and ends. I had my first adventure in drying clothes on the line

 

And bonding with the dog 

Last week was nice. Mick and I were able have a belated anniversary celebration. I took him out for an English Fry Up, his favorite thing about being English.

My first English fry up at the Hobgoblin Pub in Canterbury last summer. I've had a few more since then...

And he made a really nice pasta dinner and we exchanged cards. Nothing big this year because we've spent a lot of money on flights and rings for the wedding and stuff.
And oh yeah, news on the wedding. I've gone back and forth a bit but we've decided to just do one wedding rather than a legal one and then a big fancy one. I really want all my family to be able to be there, but I kind of feel like having the two weddings, they end up stealing thunder from each other. The first isn't fancy, but it's the real deal. And the second one would be pretty and formal and a big party, but we'd already be married. So we're just going to do a small but elegant wedding in September. I'm waiting to hear back from the place, but I think it will be September 2nd. Which will make a very busy three weeks for me and Mick! My birthday is August 23, our anniversary will be September 2, and his birthday is September 12!
We spent the weekend in Kent and got to go to a friend's housewarming party. It was a very cute older house and made me really look forward to a time when Mick and I will be able to do the same thing. Now we are back in Bognor for a couple of weeks. I have to say I'm glad to not be back and forth for a bit. I keep forgetting things at one house or the other, this week I forgot my razor!

A very Happy 4th of July to all my friends and family back in America. I always feel like such a traitor when I'm here on this particular holiday. Inside I'm waving a little flag. I'm going to miss the hotdogs and fireworks, though. Perhaps I can stream a live firework display or something.

That's all for now. Hope everyone had a great weekend and a not too miserable Monday. :)

A Year of Change

Woot! We made it to England in one piece! The weather is beautiful and calls for a nice hoody. The sun and clouds have been fighting over the sky all day, but it's perfect, in my opinion!

Yesterday (Wednesday? It's weird, because I should have had two nights of sleep since then but I've only had one!) my parents dropped us off at LAX. I did very good and only got a little teary saying goodbye to them. It was still very hard, but I know I will see them again before too terribly long. The lady at the baggage counter set us up so I didn't have to pay extortionate fees for my many oversize suit cases. In the end, I only had to pay $100 for my three large bags that I checked. I carried a small roller suitcase and my laptop bag on the plane with me. It was a long flight, but thankfully Mick and I were able to get our tickets changed so that we were next to each other. We weren't able to see the seating chart before we purchased our tickets so we didn't know that there were only about 3 seats left on the plane and they were scattered all over. We were in the middle two seats of the center row, so we were squished, but together. I was pretty content because I got to watch about 5 hours of Glee.
After about 11 hours, we finally landed at Heathrow, walked about halfway across the airport, and got into separate lines for Passport Control. EU Passport holders, go this way, and non-EU passport holders, go that way! Mick went to the EU (European Union) line and I went the other way. He got through faster than I did and caught all our luggage at the carousel. I was really nervous waiting in line because I didn't know if they were going to interrogate me when they saw my marriage visa. But the guy who stamped my passport was really cool, just made sure than I knew I had to do more visa requirements after the wedding, which I already know about. I had my thumb print scanned and met Mick at the carousel. We were met by his mum and his step dad. His step dad had to run to work, so he grabbed a few suitcases and went on his way since not all the luggage would fit into one car. Then his mum helped us to the car with the rest of the stuff. We picked up ready meals and headed back to the house. I felt awful. When we had been walking through the airport I felt nauseous from lack of sleep. I felt like I wouldn't last five minutes without falling asleep. I hadn't slept at all on the plane and was paying for it!
But, after a bath and a sandwich, Mick and I both started to feel better. I dosed a bit on the couch throughout the afternoon, then we had our dinner and tried to stay awake until the sun went down, but since its summer, that means it doesn't go to bed until after 10pm! We finally went up at about 10:30 and it was still a bit twilight-y out. We slept hard and didn't wake until nearly 11am.

When I woke up this morning, Mick mumbled a sweet "happy anniversary" in my ear. I smiled and remembered it was our one year anniversary. A year ago, on this day, Mick picked me up at Heathrow Airport and we spent that magical month together. The past year has held a lot of ups and downs for our relationship, but more recently it has held a lot of ups. We're, of course, engaged, finally in the same place for good, and feeling very content with where we are. We didn't really do any celebrating today, because we were in charge of taking the dog out for a bit and we are leaving tonight (more travel, boo!). We did grab a quick lunch out, but that was about it. We will probably go down to the pub with his sister (Laura) tonight and grab a drink, as well. But we plan to celebrate for real next week once things have calmed down a bit.
Happy anniversary, babe. I love you more than ever and can't wait to be your wife soon! I'm so looking forward to building a home and family with you in the years to come.

Us almost exactly a year ago! (funny, he's wearing that same shirt today!)

Hope you guys all have a great weekend! We are heading to Kent this evening until the middle of next week to celebrate Mick's sister's birthday and see more of his family. I'll try to post while we are there and I promise to start taking pictures!

The Story of Us

I know I said I'd tell the story of me and Mick. It's pretty personal and pretty gushy in parts, but you're going to have to bear with me, here. I'm the bride-to-be, and so I'm allowed to get emotional and detailed when I tell this story. Sorry, Mick, if this chronicle of our love embarrasses you. You're going to be a married man soon, get used to it :)

I have known Mick since I was 17 years old. We met in a forum on deviantart.com. I had questions about music, and being a musician, he had answers. I’m not entirely sure how it all started, can’t remember, but we began talking on MSN all the time. I’d stay up super late, until he woke up, to catch him. I immediately began saving money to go visit him. But we were 17, it never happened. We always did our best to stay in contact, remained good friends. When we were 20, I bought a ticket to go see him. We’d become very dedicated to one another, speaking all day online during the summer. It was just so much fun to talk to him and joke with him, fall for him. We were so excited.

But then, things started to change. He had gone off to university and didn’t have internet in his flat which totally decimated our ability to talk. Then he became more and more unavailable to talk on the phone. I could feel the chasm deepening- as if a continent and an ocean wasn’t enough for us. I’d call and he’d eventually text me, hours later, saying he just “wasn’t able to talk at the time.” I was angry. I felt that he should make time. And then I didn’t hear from him at all for nearly a week. I had to call his mom, who I’d spoken to a couple of times, to make sure he was ok. Of course he was. We finally spoke after she told him he needed to contact me. The minute he answered I knew something was wrong. I will never, ever forget the feeling, the almost audible snap of my heart breaking into pieces. “Do you think a two week visit is too long? What if we don’t get along.” He went down a road I had always hoped and prayed he’d never go down. He said it was going to be too hard, two people our age being in a long distance relationship He didn’t want to be in a relationship with someone he’d only see once or twice a year for a few years. Of course, he was right, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt very much. We had some pretty ugly fights and didn’t talk for quite some time.

Over the next three years we were involved with different people, he had the same girlfriend for most of that time. I was never in a serious relationship with anybody, I liked a few guys and went out a couple times with some. But I’d sit across the table from the nameless few and stare at them. I’d feel a pit in my stomach and find myself thinking about Mick. Why did I feel such a strong connection with a boy I’d never met, and yet this guy looking at me made me feel nothing.

Even though Mick instigated the break up, it wasn’t because he didn’t care. It took me many years to figure this out.  Over time I learned that he hadn’t stopped loving me or silently, absentmindedly hoping that we’d make it somehow. He worked pretty hard at trying to keep me in his life, even when I was sure I wanted nothing to do with him. We eventually reached an understanding and were able to be civil to one another. Every time we’d start talking again, I’d get my hopes up, and I hated myself a little bit for it. It was just easier to remain at a safe distance so that I didn’t fall for him all over again. I’d be his friend, but nothing more.
Last fall, we began talking a good bit. He and his girlfriend had been apart for a while, and I was “single as a dollar bill,” as I would jokingly say at the time. Our communication was sporadic, but the most contact we’d had in years. I felt it all resurfacing, and I think he did, too. Then, in late October 2009, he sent me a letter. He had gone on vacation in Europe with his family and confessed to not really being able to think of much other than me. He sent me a bracelet and a photo of a place he’d gone, and said he really wanted to take me there. He said he was really glad he hadn’t lost me completely.
And I immediately realized what an idiot I had been. I had tried really hard to keep him out of my life, and had failed. I had tried really hard to think of him as only a friend, and as I read his letter, I realized, again, I’d failed. I couldn’t really think of him as just a friend. I wrote him back, pouring out the emotions I’d been holding in for three years. I asked him if he still felt the same, and he did.
The next few months I found myself falling in love with him all over again, as much as you can fall for someone you’ve never met. Life seemed to just fall into place, and I was so, so happy he hadn’t let me kick him out completely. In February, on Valentine’s Day, actually, I swallowed my nerve and bought my ticket. I was going to spend two weeks with him in the summer.
Meeting him in the airport was surreal and strange, but not at all awkward or uncomfortable. Sitting next to him in the car on the way back to his house was a bit like the feeling you get in grade school when the teacher makes you sit next to your crush. We got to his house, I showered the nasty travel gunk off myself and we hung out in his room, talking.  Within an hour, he hugged me, but nothing more. I could tell he was nervous, and so was I. But I was beyond caring about nerves. I had just flown across the world to meet this guy, and I was finally in his arms. I kissed him, he told me he loved me, and asked me to stay. So I did, for a while month. We fell into a gorgeous, passionate relationship that encompasses everything I’ve ever hoped love could be. He showed me ancient buildings, historical castles, and two more countries. He showed me love and passion and understanding. He showed me what it’s like to be taken care of. He showed me, and I showed him, too, just how great something can be when you wait for it, and work for it.

On July 25, 2010 I began what would be the hardest thing I have ever done. Harder than controlling a class of hormonal teenagers. Harder than being brave enough to meet a stranger. I got on a plane and left England, left Mick. We were long distance for the absolute worst 5 months of my life. It was so weird- I had spent 23 years without him, and then one month with him. In that month, I forgot how to be myself without him. I forgot how to sleep and eat and be happy. Five months. During which I very nearly broke up with him a few times just because of the sheer stress and pain of being apart. But he wouldn’t let me.
On December 19^th, I flew back to England to spend the holidays with him. I was so nervous! I didn’t know if all the anxiety I’d been through, if the time and distance would have changed what we had during the summer. What if it had only been the excitement of meeting for the first time? Maybe that would be gone. As I wandered through the arrival terminal of Gatwick International, I saw him. I didn’t feel any better. He hugged me and kissed me. I still wasn’t sure. But then in about 30 seconds I blinked and it was like the past five months had never happened. I was home, and I was safe.
Mick was able to come back to America with me after Christmas, and so we’ve been together the past 5 and a half months. We’ve learned what it’s like to be a couple together. I’ve shown him as much of America as I’ve been able to with my work schedule. It’s been great.
I love telling our story and reliving all of it. I don’t even mind thinking about the pain so much because then I realize the magic that it all took. Nothing short of the hand of God brought us together, this much I know is true. And as I look down at the ring he placed on my left hand, I can’t help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world. About a month ago, Mick asked me to marry him. I of course said yes, and now it’s only a matter of weeks until we move to England where we’re going to spend the rest of our lives.

Here’s what I want you to take from this. I am not what you would call a lucky girl. I don’t win things, I’m not a knock out, and I’m a bit overweight. Things don’t come easy to me. I don’t turn heads and guys have never beat down my door. But I am who I am and I do the best that I can with that. And for some reason, an amazing guy saw everything he wanted in that, and didn’t give up on me. We had everything against us- odds and logistics. It’s been hard and it hurt, and I know we’re not done yet, but we made it. We made it.

 In other newwws! 21 days until I move to England, and 7 more days of school!

Up, up and away!

I've been "blogging" since before "blogging" was "blogging," but at a personal location over at opendiary.com. Now, however, since my life has begun to take some form of interesting, I decided to take it public. And global, seeing as how my life is now being extended into the global scene.
Numbers and days- this is what my life is driven by. Let's look at some of these numbers and days in the past few years and how they've brought me to today. Just the highlights mind you.
Spring 2004- Mick and I began speaking in a web forum.
Summer 2006- I bought a ticket to go see him in England.
November 2006- That all fell through.
October 29, 2010- Mick sent me a letter basically bringing everything back.
June 24, 2010- I flew to England and met Mick for the first time. What was meant to be a two week trip became a one month dream.
July 25- December 19, 2010- We spent a very difficult 5 months apart.
January 5, 2011- Mick came back with me to spend 6 months in America.
April 27, 2011- Mick asked me to marry him. I said yes.
May 17, 2011- My marriage visa was issued.

And that pretty much brings you up to speed. You'll learn more about Mick in the entries to come, and how we came to be. So here we are, engaged, in love, and 28 days from moving to England to start our lives. Twenty eight days. In twenty eight days I am moving to another country across the ocean, completely removed from everything I know and the people I hold most dear. I'm elated. I'm excited. I'm terrified and I'm sad. But mostly, I'm enthralled.

So this will by my place to come and deal with anything and everything. The trials and tribulations of fitting nearly 25 years into 3 suitcases, saying goodbye to my family, my spiritual spine. It will be where I come to vent my frustrations about being a newcomer in a country and learning the ins and outs. It will be where I tell you all about the life my other half and I will build.

I hope you're ready for an adventure, because I sure am.