They were kids that I once knew

A few hours of sunshine snapped on the way to work.

I don't have much to talk about these days, which is why things have been really quiet for me.  Work is fine, good. I've made friends with a really nice girl I work with. Life is life, the kind of stuff that's important but personal so I don't really want to put it on here- lots and lots of marriage discussions (not discussions about marriage, just the kind of important talks that married people have with each other) important, but boring to outsiders. We are on a desperate apartment search. We've looked at two, both at each end of the niceness and money spectrum. The first was amazing, but too expensive. The second was extremely small and underwhelming but more affordable than the first, but probably overpriced for what it was. And number three. Oh, number three, how I love thee. We've only seen pictures of it online, but it looks even nicer than the first one, similar size, but more affordable. We are seeing it tonight and I can't wait. Apart from that, it's just a matter of counting our pennies and making sure we can do this.
And then doing it anyway.
That's pretty much what is consuming our time and thoughts around here. Also the ridiculous pricing of towels. We were at ASDA the other day (UK's Wal-Mart partner) and I saw some towels. I decided to have a look and a feel, knowing that we'll be needing to get some soon. The towels weren't very soft, but they were £5 each. For cheap, scratchy towels. That's like, $7.50! I couldn't believe it! And my father-in-law's girlfriend said the nice big bath sheets you can get at the good department store are £22! Is this normal? Or is it just an England thing because I can't handle it right now. But I guess that's what Argos is for. I found a bundle of 6 towels for £12, go me.
Yeah, sorry for all the towel talk- these are the mundane things that occupy my mind lately!
Mick and I are doing well. We've had some time recently to sit down and really talk, an activity that life hasn't given us the chance to do lately. We walked away from a very open and honest conversation feeling closer than we have for a long time, and a bit more full of one another's love. And I think that's something we've both really needed lately.

The other day I walked to work, listening to a song I discovered recently. It's called "Dead Hearts" by Star. It was cool, not cold (it's been a very mild winter), and I had my headphones on and nearly skipped to work in the sunshine. Yes, sunshine. Since moving to Kent in October, I haven't seen a lot of sun. In Sussex during the summer there was loads of it. For a minute, I really missed Arizona and the endless blue skies. There was a day early last week (Monday?) and a girl I work with and I were upstairs taking down all the Christmas decorations and it just started to pour. Angry rain, people. And the wind was pushing it in these clouds of water racing across rooftops. I felt like the windows were going to break. And then it stopped... and got sunny for an hour. And then the rain started again, then stopped... it was pretty crazy.
Anyway, I hope you all have a great week!

Auld Lang Syne

Last night the pub held a New Years Eve party, and I was selected to work with some of my favourite coworkers. Doors opened at 7:00, but people didn't start arriving until after 8:00. There was food, a DJ and prizes, and lots and lots of people drinking. Mick came with his best friend who is visiting, and so did my sister in law and her group. Everyone was in high spirits and the place was the most hopping I've ever seen it, with the music and disco lights. I'd walk the length of the bar, collecting empty glasses and bottles, put them in the recycling or dish washer and by the time I turned around there were more to collect. Bottles of spirits were emptying at an astounding rate, and I had more than a few drinks bought for me by lovely customers. When the countdown was two minutes, our bosses forced us off the bar to have a drink and enjoy ourselves. I sat with Mick and Gus and watched the numbers dwindle down. 10, 9. Mick came to America with me. 8,7. We got engaged. 6,5. My brother got married, such a beautiful wedding. 4,3. I moved to England and started over. 2,1. My sister became a world champion. I married my best friend. Happy New Year!!!
I watched the rest of the bar with a far-away feeling in my heart. Party poppers cracked and the smell of gun powder filled my nostrils. Someone had brought light up bubble guns, and drunk girls giggled and danced in them. Sparklers were being lit, hot diamonds dripping from a stick. I loved the way people would light a stranger's sparkler with their own.
I thought of the millennium, 12 years ago. I was 13 and living in Yuma. I remember standing in the street and shouting Happy New Year surrounded by friends and family. My dad let me have a puff of his cigar just before midnight. I told him I didn't want the world to end without knowing what it was like. How time moves so quickly. But last night I sat in that loud pub on a square leather ottoman, kissed my new husband, and watched as people stood in a circle, held hands and sang Auld Lang Syne. Over the next five minutes I found, hugged and kissed my new friends and coworkers, and even the sweet little Italian man who comes to the pub somewhat regularly found me and gave me a hug, as well as the smooth talking man with a sharp London accent. So much joy was all over the place, but as is usual for me, happy occasions are usually tinged with sadness, too. I'm not sure why, but I've always been that way. Perhaps it's for the passing of time and leaving behind another year. A year is full of so many moments, and most of the joy comes from the little moments that you don't remember several months later- a joke, a really good meal, a moving film. And this year it was laced with a sad hope, that this year will be better, newer. Don't get me wrong, 2011 was the biggest year of my life, but there is still so much work to do, so much to figure out, and I just hope that I can make a dent in it this year.

So Happy New Year to you all, and remember, auld acquaintance should not be forgot, nor should times gone by.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9_YnmHLynRY&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Hello

Some holiday photos for you

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to you all! I hope you have a wonderful day full of family, happiness, good food and good times. It's been a quiet but very lovely day here so far. We ate bagels with cream cheese and salmon with mimosas for breakfast and opened out presents with Mick's mom and his stepdad. I am astounded at the generosity these people have shown to me. I received such wonderful gifts that were unnecessary but so appreciated. We are about to eat our big Christmas dinner, then it's off to visit Grampy and then spend the evening with my sister in law, her boyfriend, and pops in law.

I was able to speak to all my family members last night. They are all celebrating at my parent's house in Yuma. I really wish Mick and I could be there, but I've managed from being too bummed. Next year will be here before we know it. I will also speak to my family again tonight, but until then I'm going to dedicate this little song to them, courtesy of Judy Garland.




Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light,
Next year all our troubles will be
out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the yule-tide gay
Next year all our troubles will be
miles away

Once again as in olden days
Happy golden days of yore
Faithful friends who were near to us
Will be dear to us once more

Someday soon, we all will be together
If the Fates allow
Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow
So have yourself a merry little Christmas now.

Going the Distance

In writing this blog, in telling the story of Aindrea and Mick, and in talking to people face to face, I've been surprised to hear how many of them (the women, really) want what I have. I'm not surprised that they want a fantastic husband who is also your best friend, but they want the whole process. It happens almost daily, a customer at the pub will notice that I'm obviously not from around here, ask where I'm from.
"America"
"Oh, what are you doing all the way over here."
"I married an Englishman."
"Oh, how did you meet?"
"We met online as teenagers. Over the years we kept in touch finally met, and now here we are."
"Oh, how romantic, what a love story!"
And I'm always a little bit surprised. Even a friend of mine said to me once, "I want what you have. I want that love story and I want a British boy."
We all want a love story, and we all deserve a great one. British men are plenty nice, but they're still just men. What I don't think people realize is just how hard it all is, and how much it entails. I love Mick more that anything in the world, but would I recommend that any couple go through what we did? Absolutely not. It's hard, it hurts, you find the most stupid things to argue about when you're apart, and you just end up not being very nice to each other a lot of the time. Not because you're horrible or you don't love each other, but because you're so frustrated with the situation and you don't know how else to express it. We were only apart for 7 months, but in that time, we had a lot of arguments, a lot of doubts, and I even had to visit the ER twice because I was in so much stress, I had a panic attack that lasted for several days.
Mick and I have both talked about this, and we have agreed that if, for some reason (God forbid) things didn't work out for us, we wouldn't do this again, with another person. Would I do it again, with Mick? Yes, because what we have is special and unbreakable. It takes unquestionable and complete trust, a lot of faith, and the kind of love you only find once in a lifetime.
I think it's really important that people don't limit themselves. If you decide at some point in your life that you're going to have, x,y,z (in my friends case, a British man), you're going to be focused on only one area. And if you do that, you're going to limit yourself and you might miss out on something really fantastic. Perhaps a Swedish guy? An Australian guy? A guy from New York or Vancouver, or, most desirably, a guy from your own town. Don't put yourself in a box, be open to life and all the surprises that life sends your way. I didn't plan to fall in love with an English boy, but it fell in my lap, I discovered how important he was to me and I decided that, come hell or high water, I'd fight to keep him. We can't help who we love, and so that also means that you can't make yourself love someone. You might find someone who checks all the boxes on your list, but at the end of the day, you might really surprise yourself with what you actually want.

Today I met a girl in the pub, and she asked all those typical questions. Once she realized we had been long distance, she immediately launched into all these questions about how she should handle a sitation with a guy that is long distance. I immediately recalled the insecurities, the desperation, the excitement, and the sadness. Let me tell you, I didn't envy this girl one little bit. I basically told her that she just had to be open, honest, and decide what would work for her, and would just have to go with the flow.
And then she spoke the words, "but I don't want to just wait and see, I want to know."
I could have laughed out loud. Not because it's funny what she said, or that it's so unusual or unreasonable to want to know how love will turn out, but because I can remember saying that to my mom, or to Brittany, curled up on her couch and wallowing in the distance. "I just want to know if we're going to make it." Over and over. I was such a broken record. I wished the girl luck and walked away wondering when I'd become Dr. Love, but I was glad to be able to help, because I certainly know how she feels.
Nobody has a crystal ball (as my mom has told me over and over and over my entire life when I worry about something) and we can't know how something is going to turn out.
But isn't not knowing half the fun?

I guess I just wanted to bring some light to the situation. I'm not saying I'm not really happy, because I am. I have snagged an amazing opportunity- I'm living in another country and learning about another culture, I'm a newlywed and the world is my oyster. But we're still a couple, like anyone else. We fight. I'm sometimes really unreasonable, and he's sometimes really insensitive. I get sad and homesick and want to go home somedays, and he gets sad about that. But each day, we wake up in the same bed, happy to see the other there. And that's all we wanted for so very long.

You just have to greet life with open arms, take what it gives you, and turn that into something that makes you want to get up every day and smile at the world. I found it in an English boy, but you mind find it somewhere else. And that is beautiful.

London Getaway

Yesterday afternoon Mick and I returned from our mini trip to London. We went up early on Monday and stayed the night. We walked and walked (as one does when in London) and finished up our Christmas shopping, saw some of our favourites sights again, and enjoyed good food. In the evening we hailed a cab and went past Buckingham Palace and Horse Guard Parade and Trafalgar Square and got dropped off in front of the Garrick Theatre. Chicago did not disappoint. The music was great ad America Fererra was fantastic. Even Mick didn't hate it too much.
After the show we visited the M&Ms store in Leicester Square, then caught another can back to the hotel, where we slept the sleep of people who walked miles in a cold and rainy city. I'm the morning we had breakfast at a pub near the hotel, then we walked past Marble Arch over to Hyde Park for the winter wonderland carnival. We drank mulled wine, are roasted chestnuts, and Mick even won me a little stuffed pig shooting Christmas ornaments. After that it was back to the hotel to grab our things and get a cab to the train station. Neither of us wanted to leave - it was wonderful to have some us time, and I for one came home feeling very full of love.
I just love London in the winter, especially at Christmastime.
Have some pictures :)

Snow and Musicals

I'm really, really cold!

It snowed on Friday morning. I was sitting in bed, looking at my phone. Checked the weather, saw it was meant to be snowing. I started an epic battle with the sheets in order to get to the window. Mick muttered angrily and asked what I was doing. Away to the window I flew with a flash, tore back the shutters and opened the sash (couldn't resist) and, yes, IT WAS SNOWING! I took some pictures, but you couldn't really tell that it was snowing, and it didn't stick or anything. Boo. It was nice for the couple hours while it lasted!
I have three days off, so tomorrow Mick and I are taking the train up to London for a little Christmas-y goodness! We're going to go to a few winter markets to finish up our Christmas shopping and then, tomorrow night....

We're going to see Chicago in the West End! I've never been to the theatre, and for some reason, even though he's been bitching about it since, Mick offered to take me to see a musical. I jumped at the chance, although I've forbidden him from complaining about it. Why take me somewhere to enjoy something just to ruin it with complaining, right?
Anyways, it should be a really good couple days. We're staying in London tomorrow night and catching the train home midday Wednesday. I'm really looking forward to getting away and having some time together, I've been working a good deal lately and we've actually been pretty busy!
Here's what's been going on lately in photos :)
Hope everyone is having a good pre-Christmas week!

First time living somewhere that it snows!

This is where I work.

Some holiday nibbles and gift wrapping.

Wintry mornings